Renovation

Blog might look weird for the next few days... so bear with it a little... trying to do a major renovation with it with the help from others =)

So till then... erm... patience?

Little Sorting Work...

Cleaning Up =)


After awhile of not doing anything... I've finally decided to go thru the friend list on my blog and to update a few, delete a few...

Deleting those who...

Never Update for around 2 years already
Deleted their blog
Changed their blog address without telling me
etc

If your name isn't there... don't cry... you're not less loved, it's just maybe I've accidentally deleted you or what, or you changed your blog address and haven't informed me yet =P

Other way... err.... yeah you're not lesser loved, I think....

But now I'm seriously thinking of changing my blog's whole layout and look... it just looks... well kinda plain and boring already~~ anyone got any nice, yeng templates to share?? Now looking into changing the whole look...

But being reminded in the past of the hours and days it took me just to change the layout... woo...

*SHIVER*

Anyways if anyone has anything interesting, do share~~ I'd really appreciate it~ cause now blog looks a little messy in some way~ want something with alot of space for big pictures, yet looking neat~ =P

The Story of Kevin Carter

Kevin Carter, a photographer that not many might know, but years ago he was one of the most popular photographers then~ but how his life ended wasn't something beautiful...

Well the story might be a little long, but if you have the time I suggest reading it.... I mean... you SHOULD since you've already clicked on the Read More button... and since I've directly copied it word by word from the Amature Photograpy Magazine which took me almost an hour or so to write it all down...

in early March 1993, a United Nations jet flying under the banner of it's Operation Lifeline Sudan initiative, touched down in the parched famine belts of southern Sudan. Kevin Carter, a veretan photographer of the power struggles in his native South Africa, took leave from his day job and borrowed money to join this UN flight so that he could document the rebel movement in Sudan.

During a stopoever of 30minutes while the UN delegation distributed food, Carter and fellow South Africa photojournalist Joao Silva disembarked to have a wander around, intend on photographing local guernila fighters. Silva hurried into the nearby village. Carter, however, stayed near the plane. Years covering conflict and suffering had taken their toll on him. and the solace he sought in the camaraderie of his fellow photographers, as well as dagga, the locally grown marijuana plants, seemed to help him get by. Silva recalls, however, that this was Carter's first time in a famine situation, and he wore his shock across his face.

Nevertheless, Carter carried on with his job. As parents queued to collect rations of food, their children lingered behind. The children interested Carter, and he began photographing them as they lined up on the outskirts, looking on in desperation. He took a series of pictures, but eventually the scene became too overwhelming and he walked off. It was then that a faint whimpering caught his attention. Overcome and hollowed by hunger, Carter saw an emaciated young girl collapsed with exhaustion. Behind her, a vulture landed and watched in anticipation.

Intinctively, Carter crept slowly forward until he was just ten meters away, and both the girl and the vulture was in focus. He waitied 20minutes for the vulture to spread its wings, but when it refused Carter took the picture. He took more, and the vulture eventually flew away. Carter then found a place to sit, where he lit a cigarette and talked to God in between sobs and tears. "He was depressed afterwards" Silva recalls. "He kept saying he wanted to hug his daugher.

Carter didn't know it yet, but the reluctant journalist had taken what has become the most lauded and heavily criticised image of all time. On 26 march his picture first appeared in print in The New York Times, and thousands of enquiries into the fate of the young girl followed. Public interest prompted a special editor's note. Explaining that the young girl pulled herself up and walked away, but her ultimate fate remained unknown.

Meanwhile the image was reproduced around the world and became an icon for Africa's plight. Colleagues and acquaintances phoned Carter one by one and congratulated him on his work. Buoyed by newfound fame, he quit his day job and signed on with Reuters as a freelancer with a guranteed $2000 a month. A year later he won the conveted Puitzer Prize for featured photographer. Carter wrote to his parents in Johnannesburg: "I swear I got the most applause of anybody... I can't wait to show you the trophy. It is the most precious thing, and the highest acknowledgment of my work I could receive."

Yet with success came scom. Mixed between allegations of faking the scene were more serious accusations of journalistic irresponsibility. "The man adjusting his lens to take just the right frame of her suffering might as well be a predator, another vulture on the scene," opined Florida's St. Petersburg Times in a scathing editorial. Even friends questioned Carter's lack of response to the girl's obvious peril.

Carter had long been a troubled soul known for the tumultuousness of his moods, and when the number of criticism began matching his successes it only served to feed his constant self-doubt. Carter suffered under the pressure. He struggled with drug abuse and a string of failed relationships, as well as professional errors that left him worrying about his financial security. On top of his constant visions of death, the impact of his iconic image consumed him, and those close to him recall how he withdrew in the months after his image was published. "Kevin always carried around the horror of the work he did," his father said, and it was partly his inability to distant himself from the horror he saw that lef to Carter taking his own life.

On July 1994, just months after he won a Pulitzer, the 33-year-old Carter drove his pick-up truck into the suburbs of Johnannesburg and parked it against a gum tree where he often played as a small boy. With silver gaffer tape, he attached a garden hose to his exhaust pipe and ran the other end through the passenger-side window. The note on the passenger seat read,

"I'm really, really sorry. The pain of life overrides the joy to the point that joy does not exist."

Well not many of us would understand this story or even know the photographer... But I guess one thing that might make us remember it by seeing this award winning picture that he took~
Forgot what was the title of this picture already... but this was the picture caused the world to weep then in realizing the sufferings happening in Sudan~

But I guess there's alot we can learn from this story, do you think what he did was right, or was it wrong... well I guess it's to your own opinion~~

There's still so much to talk about my fingers burning d... gotta rest them now~~ =)

Photography Wars...

It's nothing you've expected it to be...


If you think this is going to be a post about the talk on which camera is better... Nikon or Canon... let me say that I just couldn't care much less about that kind of argument... -_-"

You can go around complaining on how the other camera is lousier than the one you have now... well it's only just natural because if your own camera was lousy you wouldn't even buy it wouldn't you??

BUT going back to topic... well whichever one is better, Canon or Nikon, it doesn't really matter, what I think?? They are all magnificent camera's, and in the end it doesn't matter which one you choose, because in the end all camera's are great (unless you buy a Malaysian made camera) but in the end it all comes to what you like, what's your taste, etc... and the rest... well it's just the connection between the photographer and the camera~ =)

But that's not what I wanted to talk about today...
well I just came back from a very full dinner, was treated to California Pizza... oh yeah~ =)

And being full like mad, it then comes to the part of being lazy and just siting down listening to people talk and learn new stuff... what I've learned today...

You know they are clubs around?? Sort of like car clubs... Satria Neo... Honda Civic... etc etc.... well in a way there are also Photography clubs around like that... people calling different names like EOS and stuff... and how they work is sort of like a gang, if you go out take pictures then invite the others, like how gangsters go to gang fights by inviting others to join in the fun =)

and one thing that made me go "HAR!?" was knowing that they have this like some sort of rule...

Kinda like erm... if club A takes pictures of this model, then they would kinda assume that that model belongs to club A, then if that same model goes to take pictures with club B, then would kinda have like a fight between A & B... sort of like

"Why you take my model!?!?!?" kinda fight... interesting ain't it...??

But words of wisdom from an experienced photographer at the table when he said that the model isn't bounded by a contract by the club, and they are all freelancer models so got no attachment so can't really treat it like their your model... mmm getting interesting...

Even now well there's kinda like a war going on, till got fights of photographer against photographer, photographer treatening model, model's going against photographers...
Hmmm... and I thought the world of photography just goes around making friends and taking pictures... who would've thought it would go so deep...

Hmmm... would I join a photography group eventually...?? Seriously I do not know how to answer that question... but till now I'll just wander around and see what happens la =P

H1N1

Maybe it's kinda late to blog about this but.... ah well =)


I guess it's been awhile since we've heard news about H1N1 already...
Remember the times when it seemed to be the headlines everywhere?? People being freaked out and wearing masks everywhere they go, some would even stay home in fear of getting it...
Not to mention even freaking out when someone sneezes, I've seen people literally walking fast, or running when someone nearby sneezes in the shopping complex...

Good times =)

Well thank God nobody I know has died of H1N1, just being very paranoid at getting a flu and stuff...
But I guess sometimes we overreact by little things sometimes...??

Heard this quote from an aunty in my church that:

"You know? More people die on the road each day than people that die of H1N1 everyday"

I guess it IS kinda true, and I guess this also shows how easily one can control mankind if you inflict fear on them, mostly if you were to see movies and how those bad guys seem to have everything in control because of the power of fear inflicted into the hearts of the people~~

Powerful thing =)
And it's also kinda amazing what fear can drive people to...
I don't know... but it's true sometimes how fear can control us, spin us out of control, and even distract us from the whole big picture sometimes...

But yeah, sometimes through fear we too can sometimes forget that we have a God that's above all things, till sometimes we would make the problem to look like it's bigger than God, HUGE and massive and beyond God's control... but somehow we just have to have a change in perspective and to realize that sometimes we just don't have to worry much about things in life, knowing that though how big the problem, hey we have an even bigger God that's above even the largest problem in your life =)
But of course it comes with wisdom also la doesn't mean cause God is in control of your life you'll go and play blindfold soccer on the highway... same goes for this H1N1 case, just gotta be careful in how you live your life...

Careful of what you eat, what you're putting into your body, wash your hands, etc etc. just take good care of yourself =)

Either way... haha now people are just making jokes all around about H1N1... what has happened to it?? I have no idea... maybe gone, maybe still around... donno...

in the end just don't go overboard la =]

Stupid People

Don't underestimate Stupid People~~


Most often in life and in times we would just look down on people who are stupid, but rather that shouldn't be the main case in everything that is =)
Often at time we fail in life, where something just wouldn't go well or doesn't really go our way in life~~
And throughout our mistakes we always learn something, that shouldn't redo that which we have done and failed, since well experience is one of the best teacher to learn from ~~ But one thing I've noticed that is sometimes people who are stupid tend to fail more in some things too, so other than learning from our mistakes is that we can also learn from the mistakes of others =P
But even for entertainment wise stupid people can do things that can just surprise you and wonder if it's even humanly possible...
Other than that it would just make you laugh for no other particular reason...
mmmmm.....
But I guess in the end, no matter how bad you think you life is, how much you've failed and feel really bad about yourself, always remember that there is someone worse than you =)

There's a chinese saying 一山有一山高 which means that if you think you are good always remember that there is someone better than you, but that's only a saying for the talented good people, for those lesser talented people, don't worry too because there is always someone worser than you in life =)

You might not know, a stupid act you do today could cheer someone up somewhere else =P

So don't be afraid to try and fail, because someone else has surely did it worse than you~ and your failure could even end up becoming someone else's inspiration and joy XD

Faith 2

=)

If you're read my previous post I guess some of you could understand a struggle going inside my heart between doubts and faith in believing in my prayer... after posting that post I guess I went into a time of searching and seeking, going thru the old videos I have, videos that I've always shown in church that inspired people, but at times like these I guess I myself need an inspiration~~

But then again, I came across this video, in which the preacher just talked a little about Isaiah 40, but he didn't really focus much on it, so it got me curious, and then I opened up Isaiah 40 to read it myself... the beginning part didn't really capture my attention, but this was the part of the verse that really touched me...

Isaiah 40:27-31

27Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the Lord;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?

28Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
The Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and His understanding no one can fathom.

29He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31But those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not be faint

It's a really interesting yet powerful verse for me, that in our life as though sometimes it might be too hard and it even feels like we do not have the strength to keep going on... God gives a promise that if we were to place our hope in Him, to believe in Him, he would give us enough strength to keep going on...

He doesn't just give us a rose garden and everything's A-OK, sure He can and He does do that sometimes, but it's through our hardest times that we learn to put our trust in Him, and to see how He reveals Himself to us to give us wings to soar, enough strength to keep going on.. why?? Because we have a universe making God, He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. THAT'S the God that we serve, and that's the God that comforted me last night with His word.

You know... somehow after that, along with listening to some music, kinda interesting how things flowed as I felt the healing happening inside my heart, and after that I just felt that the burdens were lifted, worries disappeared, and what's best... I felt my faith rising above the doubts!!

Right now I don't really worry much, but rather at a moment like this I just feel the feeling to believe, to really have faith and not doubt anymore =)

Kinda weird how God works in the lives of His people, but hey... this is the God that we serve, personal and different to every one of His creations~~~ =]

Faith

Something I REALLY need now


Often we can talk about Faith, we can just tell people to have faith and believe in God to do the impossible and wish them off...

But when those bad times strike us ourselves, can we really practice what we've told others?? Can we really find that power to overcome our doubts by our faith?? Or does those doubtful thoughts spin in our minds

"What IF???"

I guess that's what I'm going thru right now, I believe... I WANT to believe in God, but in another way my mind is thinking of the negative thoughts, it's really a battle that's going inside, between the viewpoint of a human and seeing through the eyes of a mighty God...

I want to believe, but I'm scared in another way... hmm... at times like these is where I really need prayer, I thank those whom God has sent today to encourage me with their testimonies, it really does help, but what remains now is to conquer the battle that rages inside of me right now...

Even as I'm going through a moment of praying for someone close to heart, to pray and believe for a miracle to happen in healing, oh Lord please teach me to trust, teach me to believe, teach me to have faith in an almighty God, in believe in a God that's above all things, and to always remind myself that no matter how huge the mountain, my God is still in control of my life...

right now I too need the support of everyone, do pray for me to have the faith to believe, and to also pray for my dear friend, to pray for healing to take place right now in her life, that tomorrow when she's going to take her results she would come back with rejoicing that God has already done a work and a miracle in her life, pray for us to believe =)

We Believe in a God of Miracles... We believe in a God that Heals... amen =]